The Strangest and Funniest Sex Laws in the USA

The Funniest and Most Bizarre Ones

One of the most curious 18+ topics about the U.S. is… sex laws. Americans are so meticulous and detail-oriented that they’ve classified everything — from sex with porcupines to laws about your partner’s breath.

At American Butler, we did a deep dive into the actual legal code. Now we’re ready to present 10 of the weirdest and most amusing sex laws, complete with comments, comparisons, and real examples.

When Law Defies Logic

The British-Puritan roots of Americans still echo today. Sometimes, there's a need to regulate even what nature itself hasn’t figured out — like defining what counts as “normal sex” and what should be fined or punished. We present to you the most absurd and hilarious sex laws in the United States. And yes, this is all absolutely real. Although how most of these laws are enforced remains a mystery.

Motion in Motion

1. 01. Only on Your Own Land
   Detroit has a special bond with cars. So special that indulging in carnal pleasures inside one is only permitted if the vehicle is parked on land owned by one of the participants. If the police catch you — you’ll need to pause and fetch documents proving land ownership. But if everything checks out, feel free to continue. You might even ask the officers to guard the car from teens with smartphones.
2. 02. The Woman Is Always to Blame
   In Utah, women take the blame for any indecent car activity. If a driver is caught by police with his zipper down, it’s his female companion or legal wife who gets fined. Doesn’t matter if it was a girlfriend, a random passenger, or even another man — it’s always *cherchez la femme*. Many cheating husbands have been exposed thanks to this odd bit of justice.
3. 03. No Fooling Around in the Ambulance
   The city of Tremonton, also in Utah, went even further: local laws specifically prohibit sex in ambulances. And whether the woman was involved or not — her name will be published in the local paper with a public warning about her promiscuity.
4. 04. Truckers’ Tragedy
   In Pennsylvania, truckers have to restrain themselves — sex in truck cabins or near gas station counters is strictly forbidden. The cashier and the passionate driver could both be fired for giving in to temptation.
5. 05. Courtesy Honk
   Idaho has perhaps the most polite law for thrill-seekers. Before approaching and issuing a fine, police are required to honk the horn and wait at least two minutes. It’s the little courtesies that count.

Problems of public space

Though let’s be honest — car sex isn’t really that extreme anymore.

Local Geniuses

1. 01. Exotic Places for Intimacy
   In the city of Newcastle, Wyoming, sex is banned inside industrial meat freezers, while in North Carolina, cemeteries are off-limits. In Arizona, taxi drivers are not allowed to “warm up” in the front seat during rides. Illinois kindly asks people to refrain from intimacy during hunting, fishing, or even weddings — no matter what role you're playing there. In Colorado, all indecent acts in rivers, lakes, or even a poor little creek are strictly forbidden.
2. 02. Love Between the Beds
   In North Carolina hotels, double beds are prohibited — even married couples must sleep in separate single beds placed at least half a meter apart. Trying to bend the rules and engage in any level of intimacy on the floor between the beds is strictly forbidden. And no, moving the beds together “just for a bit” isn’t considered an option either.
3. 03. No Animal Passions Allowed
   In California, even animals are forbidden from mating within 500 meters of schools, universities, restaurants, or churches. So far, no dog has actually paid a fine, but the authorities remain hopeful.

Oddities in Inadequacy

Particular attention is paid to sex that doesn't align with so-called "natural" needs. Yes, in America, they even found a way to define that. Essentially, it refers to any kind of sex that doesn't directly lead to reproduction. The harshest sanctions are imposed in the southern states, where religious influence remains strong.

Watch Your Mouth — and Everything Else

Oral sex is banned in South Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, and Missouri. Anal sex is strictly forbidden in Nebraska (20 years in prison, Carl!) and Kentucky. Any form of sex other than vaginal may result in up to 10 years in prison and hefty fines in Florida, Virginia, South Dakota, North Carolina (where even non-missionary positions are illegal), Michigan, and Mississippi.

In Dallas, Texas, it’s also illegal to own sex toys that resemble actual body parts in size or shape. So it’s either the real deal — or good luck. In Arizona, you can keep such items, but the number of active "members" in the household must not exceed three — including the one attached to the head of the family.

In the animal world

No matter how rich the flora and fauna are in the U.S., sometimes… you just have to hold back. At least occasionally.

• Cows Under Protection
  In Michigan and Wyoming, it’s illegal to stare at cattle in a “lustful” way (yes, farmers are actually watching). In Florida — don’t eye porcupines. In Illinois — no lingering looks at fish or dogs. In Minnesota — birds are off-limits. And as for vegetables, it’s best not to fondle them in public either.
• Love Your (Lightweight) Neighbor
  On the other hand, Washington D.C. and West Virginia offer a little more freedom: it’s legal to engage in sexual acts with animals weighing less than 40 pounds (18 kg). Yep, someone wrote that into law.
• Don’t Lick the Toad
  Certain species of toads secrete psychoactive substances. As a result, in Los Angeles, a law was passed officially banning the act of “licking a toad to get high.” When legislation reaches this level, it becomes clear: someone actually tried it.
• Deer Whispering Is Forbidden
  In Alaska, it’s illegal to whisper into a deer’s ear. Yes, you read that right. The law bans anyone from whispering anything into the ear of a wild deer. Apparently, the authorities felt nature deserves silence — or someone just got way too chatty with wildlife.

Better not come up

There are also things in American law that honestly make you want to stand up and applaud.

The undeniable champion here is the state of Minnesota. A man in Minnesota is not allowed to even approach his girlfriend or wife if he smells like fish, onions, or garlic. If he dares to get too close, the woman has the legal right to demand the following:

• Supervised tooth brushing under police observation;
• A formal restraining order preventing further advances.

The Harshest Laws

In the tough state of Maine, men are prohibited from drinking more than three glasses of beer during sex. And in equally strict Wisconsin, firing a gun during orgasm is illegal. Apparently, bows and crossbows are still fine. Meanwhile, in Indiana, a judge can order a man to shave off all facial hair if his partner complains that his mustache tickles in all the wrong ways.

In Tennessee, a woman is under no obligation to make the first move — in fact, she can sue a man for inviting her on a date. And in California, adultery is a punishable offense with fines and up to a year in jail. If you’re going to cheat, Arkansas might be the more budget-friendly option — there, it could cost you just 20 bucks.

Why do they still exist?

The answer is simple: they were just never repealed.

Laws get written and passed, but they’re rarely reviewed — especially if they don’t interfere with “real life.” There’s also the political factor: many of these outdated norms were heavily lobbied by religious groups in the 20th century, often promoted under the banner of “moral protection.”

Can You Actually Go to Jail for This?

Almost always — no. These laws are de facto unenforced. But! There have been cases where they resurfaced in court — for example, during divorces, custody battles, or neighbor disputes. Yes, it sounds absurd. But sometimes lawyers refer to such obscure articles just to “put pressure” on the other party.

What Really Matters Here?

We laugh, we read, we’re shocked — but behind this comic facade is a very real takeaway: When moving to a different country — especially one as complex as the U.S. — it’s important to know and understand the local laws. Even the ridiculous ones. So you don’t end up in a funny... or downright unpleasant situation.

Think it’s all just nonsense? Feel like a mama ama criminal for real — go to the USA and don’t hold back.

And if you need help with organizing your trip and entertainment while you’re there, American Butler is here to help. We’ve lived and worked in the U.S. for years and are ready to share our knowledge and experience with you. Any question, idea, or request — just drop us a message in the website chat window.